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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
30th August 2013: Isn't sarcasm a wonderful thing?
25th August 2013: Operation Yewtree has turned British justice on its head
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Why 'human rights' is nothing of the sort ...
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
6th August 2013: How the British nation treats its friends ...
8th July 2013: The BBC biased? How can that be? They're so NICE!
26th June 2013: Think this country is a bastion of freedom and justice and a shining model for the world? Think again.
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th June 2013: is the end finally approaching for this evil woman?
31st May 2013: Now it's official - the BBC really is a left-wing propaganda machine
31st May 2013: Those evil bastards are at it again. Yes, you've guessed it - social services!
27th May 2013: Well-known TV presenter talks sense. No good will come of it.
24th May 2013: British justice is best? Only for the very poor, apparently ...
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
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The Channel 4 "Dispatches" programme tonight will show graphic footage of the war in Afghanistan. It will reveal the full extent of the difficulties faced by British troops, with severe shortages of helicopters preventing re-supply and men living off corn-cobs picked from the fields.
 
British and Afghan troops are shown struggling to regain control of the town of Garmsir in Helmand province. The battle, originally supposed to last 24 hours, stretches to 6 days. The British are promised reinforcements but shortages of troops and helicopters mean that these never arrive.
 
Meanwhile in London civil servants, government ministers and military bigwigs will benefit from a £billion bonanza when the Ministry of Defence in Whitehall is refurbished. They will have …
 
• chairs that cost £1,000 each. More than 3,000 of them, described by the American makers as "the most comfortable office chairs in the world"
 
• 3,120 solid oak doors at up to £1,200 each - a total cost of £3 million.
 
• renovated stone and marble floors in the magnificent terrazzo, and a glass atrium stretching up seven floors
 
• a restaurant, a coffee bar, 30 large plasma screens, a gym and "quiet rooms" for their breaks
 
Over the next ten years more than £75,000 will be spent on comfortably accommodating each official. This compares to only one third of that amount to be spent on the upkeep of every ordinary soldier's quarters.
 
The families of men serving in Afghanistan will be interested to know that …
 
• the total bill would have paid, for twenty years, the wages of the 1,800 infantrymen axed in 2004, or that …
 
• alternatively it would buy 24 Chinook helicopters - at present the Afghanistan force has only eight
 
The announcement comes just as there are fears that almost half the Navy's 44 warships may have to be mothballed, and complaints about the substandard prefabs in which some service families have to live. Not that it was properly announced, really: the story was revealed in answer to a parliamentary question, and the real figures are hidden by the fact that this is a PFI (private finance initiative) by which the work is done by private companies, and the government pay them back over the next 30 years. The companies will make millions in profits, and inflation and interest will boost the total cost of £746 million to the astronomical one of £2.3 billion.
 
The GOS would like to make a proposal …
 
Why doesn't the Ministry of Defence invite the families of soldiers serving in Afghanistan to stay in Whitehall for a little holiday? They could get out of their damp prefabs and live in some comfort, not to say luxury, for a few weeks. They wives could gather in the coffee-bar or restaurant, relax in the quiet rooms or tone up in the gym, while their children played safely in the spacious terrazzo, watched C-Beebies on the 30 plasma screens or rode their bikes in the atrium.
 
Meanwhile, squads of civil servants could release space for the families by being shipped out in rotation to Afghanistan for a six-week tour of Helmand province. After all, important people like them will probably leap at the opportunity to get out of the office for a change and come face to face with the reality of events that have so far just been bits of paper sliding across their desks …
 
Mind you, they wouldn't actually get a gun, would they? There aren't enough to go round. And getting home again might be a problem, given the shortage of helicopters …
 
Still … I expect they'd welcome the chance … wouldn't they?
 

 
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