Pauline Nolan from Manchester was driving home from work one day when two motorcycles sped past her at 60 m.p.h.
"Hang on," she thought, "I recognise those bikes! They're the two expensive and easily-recognisable motocross bikes I bought for my sons!"
Sure enough, when she got home she found that the thieves had forced open the door of the garage where the bikes were kept, pushed aside a car that had been blocking the bikes in, drilled through the bike-locks and cut the chains to free the bikes.
Naturally she called the police. I mean, you would, wouldn't you?
Imagine her surprise, then, to be told that although the police knew exactly where the bikes were - they'd been spotted in Beswick a few miles away - they weren't going to do anything about it. Because the thieves were not wearing motorcycle helmets (which is an offence, isn't it?) the police daren't chase them - they might fall off, be injured, and sue!
A police spokesman, Inspector Martin O'Connor, said: "In situations like this officers need to carefully consider the safety of all road users before deciding whether or not to begin a pursuit. This means taking into consideration the time of day, weather, traffic conditions, the nature of the original offence and then make a risk assessment based on all these circumstances."
Meanwhile, of course, the thieves escape. I imagine that saves the police a good deal of paperwork, anyway. Mrs.Nolan has put up a cash reward for the return of the bikes - an orange and black KTM 250 and a black and green Kawasaki 65 with distinctive "Monster Energy" graphics, valued at over £7,000 the pair.
She'd better be careful, though. She might find herself on the wrong end of the law, as Doctor Otto Chan did recently. The radiologist from North London returned from holiday to find that thieves had smashed through the back door and stolen unopened Christmas presents and three computers. Now Doctor Chan could probably afford to replace the computers: what he could not replace was their contents - hundreds of family photographs and files containing more than 150 lectures on radiology.
Finding that the police showed little interest in investigating the burglary and did not send a single uniformed officer, Doctor Chan decided to take action himself to retrieve the stolen property. He pinned up posters around his neighbourhood offering a reward for anyone who returned the computers, Christmas presents and priceless family photographs.
So he was astonished when officers phoned and threatened to arrest him for attempting to buy stolen goods - despite the fact that the goods in question were his own property.
Apparently, under section 23 of the Theft Act 1968, it is illegal to advertise rewards for return of goods stolen or lost using words to the effect that no questions will be asked. Anyone convicted faces a fine of up to £100 and will get a criminal record. A Metropolitan Police spokesman said: 'any reward should be organised with police liaison to ensure no offences would be committed inadvertently by the victims'. Funny, isn't it, that there's always a police spokesman available to explain how he's right and everyone else is wrong, but you never see a policeman on the beat and you can wait hours and hours if you've been mugged or burgled?
Anyway, it would seem that if the police can't be bothered to try and solve your crime or get your property back, they can still keep up their conviction records by charging you, the victim. Nice. The reason, of course, is exactly the same reason we've been banging on about for months: catching real criminals is hard work, because they don't want to be caught.
The police, under-manned, badly managed and ground down with targets and paperwork, simply don't have the time or inclination to catch criminals. It's so much easier to arrest ordinary, law-abiding citizens, because they don't run away.
There is, however, no truth in the rumour that they get extra points for schoolchildren and pensioners.
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