Grumpy Old Sod.com - a message from Uncle Tony to the kids of the nation

Grumpy Old Sod Dot Com - an internet voice for the exasperated. Sick of the nanny state? Pissed off with politicians? Annoyed by newspapers? Irate with the internet? Tell us about it!

False witnesses did rise up; they laid to my charge things
that I knew not. For it was not an enemy that reproached
me; then I could have borne it: it was thou - Psalms 35 & 55

Children of the nation!

A special message from Uncle Tony Bliar
Help us send your mommy or daddy to prison
and win a hamper of sweeties!

As all you boys and girls know, when you are naughty, your mummy and daddy punish you. Maybe they don't give you sweeties, or they make you sit on the naughty chair for a while. Well, did you know that grown ups can do naughty things as well? Yes, and if they do, they have to go to a special place called PRISON, so that they won't be naughty again.

Here's how you can help us. We in the Labour Party want to be sure that all grown-ups love us and all the fantastic people from all over the world we want to come to our country so that we can give them free houses. Some grown ups don't like this, because they are a very bad, naughty kind of people called 'racists'. If your mummy or daddy is a racist, let us know and we will give you a big box of your favourite sweeties!

Here is how you can tell if your mummy or daddy is racist ….

• Do they sometimes say naughty words, like P**i, or C**n or d**kie, or do they say that they wish we didn't let so many immigrants in to the country?

• Do they ever say that they don't like black people?

• Do they ever say that Muslims are a threat to the peace of the country or that Tony Bliar is an idiot?

• Do you ever hear them saying that they don't like the Labour Party?

So, if you find out that your mummy and daddy are 'racists', send us an email at racists@thelabourparty.org.uk, and we will come and break down the door early in the morning, and take them to prison.

Then, you will be able to stay up late and watch TV, because mummy and daddy won't be there to stop you!! We will also send you a big box of sweeties!!

Remember - Uncle Tony LOVES you!!

The GOS says: We are grateful to Angry French John who discovered this message, and many other wonderful things, at Alastair Campbell's TheLabourParty.org.uk. We highly recommend this excellent website - hours of browsing satisfaction, fun for all the family, and an incisive insight into the machinations of NuLabour.

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