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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
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GOVERNMENT MOVES TO QUELL DISSENT
6th June 2007

 

 
It was revealed today that the government plans to introduce regulations limiting public and private dissent.
 
Sources suggest that no new legislation will be required. Ministerial orders under existing legislation will establish a new ASDO or Antisocial Dissent Order to be used against members of the public who express discontent or disagreement with government policy.
 
According to a leaked memo written by Alec Alexander-Cook, Junior Minister for Public Affairs, "Since Tony Blair became Prime Minister we have taken great strides in creating a well-ordered, placid and prosperous society. Our moves against terrorists, motorists, litter-louts, smokers and the obese have gained wide public acceptance, and more recently experts have welcomed government advice to those who drink alcohol in excess of government-recommended limits.
 
"Hooliganism, vandalism, violent or insulting behaviour have all been effectively stigmatised, poor parenting can now be formally identified and corrected, and the concept of racial motivation for any kind of negative behaviour or statement has been extended into every level of public life, from schools to parliament, from books and newspapers to mass-appeal television.
 
"The coming introduction of ID cards and proposals for widespread traffic-monitoring for the purpose of road charging will provide a further opportunity to clamp down on antisocial behaviour by members of the public.
 
"The next logical step is to ensure that government efforts to protect the calm of society in general are not frustrated by irresponsible journalists, writers, website proprietors and bloggers who question or challenge them for reasons of political bias, racial/religious prejudice or a simple desire for anarchy."

 
Unofficial sources close to ministers believe that other targets for the new ASDO may include teachers and priests who publicly suggest that government motives and methods are questionable, members of minority political parties and campaigning pressure groups, and even charities.
 
Complaining public servants such as judges, magistrates, army and police officers, and even former members of such professions who use their retirement as an excuse to express dissatisfaction with government policy, will also be under close scrutiny.
 
A spokesman for the Liberal Democrat party said today that he will be calling for a parliamentary debate, and one of the minor parties most at risk, the BNP, claimed that "Now the three major parties have moved so close together that their policies are virtually indistinguishable, this news is not surprising. There is little or no dissent in parliament, and now the government want to banish it from the country as a whole".
 
The most surprising thing about this news is how very unsurprised most informed sources are. This country already has more public surveillance than any other, and government intervention in all facets of public and private life has become the norm. In a divided world ridden with terrorism and under constant threat from climate change, many see freedom of thought and opinion as a frivolous luxury we can no longer afford.
 

 
The GOS says: Yeah, we're not surprised either.
 
Bastards.

 

 

 
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