Am I the only person to have realised the truth about Robert Kilroy-Silk?
THERE IS NO SUCH PERSON!
He is a hoax, and a very clever one. Examine him closely. How can anyone with a complexion like that be real? And his hair - it's obviously artificial, sewn from artificial fibres with immense care and dexterity by dozens of industrious little dwarf-women somewhere deep in the heart of Middle Earth (sorry, that should have read "Middle England").
And his suits - how can any real person of that age look so good in a suit? I know I can't!
I believe him to be a sort of golem or artificial man, constructed by Tony Blair's government to distract us from what they're doing. Inside him is a very small person (Robin Cook? Or has anyone seen little Leo lately?) operating the controls with levers labelled "smile winsomely", "flash blue eyes" etc. While millions of D**ly M**l and D**ly Exp**ess readers are mesmerised by the sprightly silver-haired charmer, they're oblivious that the country they love is sinking swiftly into a primordial slime of chaotic schools, crumbling filth-strewn hospitals, roads where no driver dares to move, courts that have ground to a halt under their own inertia and a parliament that mumbles impotently to itself while Tony is away hobnobbing with his little friend George Dubble-yu.
Eventually the whole thing will simply deliquesce into a giant pool of oil the size of .... well, Britain, I suppose. Whereupon Tony-baby will deactivate his golem, sell the oil to the Arabs and run away with Cherry to live in Italy.
When it happens, do remember - you read it here first.
Actually, we may not have been the first to discover this hoax. Click here.
Click here to read more about Tony-baby and his clever tricks. What a wag he is!
either on this site or on the World Wide Web.
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