A personal message from Captain Grumpy ...
People aged 69 and over are barred from jury service. There have been suggestions that the law should be changed, but the readership of a national newspaper ... oh, all right, damn you, it was the Daily Mail if you must know ... voted yesterday that anyone over 70 was not fit to be on a jury.
I am 67 years old. I have never been called for jury service, and in two years' time the law says I'll be too old and gaga to be eligible.
I am physically active and while I have slowed up a little and tend to go very carefully when climbing ladders or working on large items of machinery (which I do, regularly), I am still very strong.
I am a skilled computer end-user and fluent in Word, Excel, Access, PowerPoint, OpenOffice, PagePlus, Photoplus, Paintshop Pro, almost any HTML editor, Sibelius, Finale and Sound Forge music software. I run ten websites, some for myself and some for other people. I taught myself HTML computer language (much easier than it sounds) fifteen years ago for the purpose. One of my websites - this one - gets 20 million visitors a year. Another has won an award for "best specialist website".
I am an author of three textbooks, two of which are still in print and selling all over the world. They are recommended by HM Government, and by the government of one province in Canada. They have even been translated into Greek, though for some reason which escapes me I don't get any royalties for this. I am also serious about fiction writing and was published in America many years ago, but recently have only published on the internet.
I am a composer and arranger of music, mostly small-scale choral works, and have an exclusive contract with music publishers in London. Eventually they will publish over 70 musical works of mine (when they get round to it, the idle sods). I write three or four concert reviews a year for the local newspapers. Until four or five years ago I ran and conducted a highly successful choir which achieved successes in national choral competitions.
I am a director and company secretary of a small charity. This work is the main reason I still drive 20,000 miles a year.
I had an IQ of 146 at the last measurement - admittedly a long time ago. I reckon I know a damn sight more now. Every week with my wife I watch University Challenge on the television. I can usually answer as many questions as any two or three of the contestants put together, though I couldn't beat a whole team. I speak enough French to get by, can puzzle out a fair bit of written German and Italian, and both read and write Latin. I read voraciously, and am a "rapid reader" - the average paperback takes me about two hours.
I don't feel too bad about the Daily Mail vote; I personally believe that Daily Mail readers are ignorant pigs who shouldn't be allowed to express opinions, own property, vote or breed. Actually, I think I'd prefer it if they didn't breathe.
But please, somebody ... anybody ... can someone please explain to me just what it is that makes me so unsuitable for jury service?
P.S. I don't actually want to do jury service, you understand. I'm far too busy. I just resent not being allowed to.
P.P.S. My wife says I am also just the teeniest bit conceited. I can't imagine why she would think that.
either on this site or on the World Wide Web.
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