When we first saw the massive story in Friday's (16th November 2012) Daily Mail, we dismissed it as just another hysterical Mail Wail not worthy of our serious and intelligent consideration. It appears we were wrong, though. Evidently if you keep finding conspiracy theories all around you, eventually you may hit the nail on the head because by the law of averages, one will eventually turn out to be an actual conspiracy.
Here was Rod Liddle in the Sunday Times ...
"Blairite munchkins and leftie lizards run the whole show now
"Is the Leveson inquiry into press standards being subverted by a shadowy conspiracy of left-liberal, alien, lizard-type creatures, as the Daily Mail suggested on Friday? Oddly enough, the answer seems to be “actually, yes, it is”.
"The Mail's investigation ran to a slightly hysterical 11 pages – the sort of coverage the paper might more usually give to nuclear warm or the imminent destruction of the earth by a huge comet, or maybe some new chemise-y thing that Holly Willoughby is wearing.
"As a consequence, this hearth-and-home right-wing redoubt has been a laughing-stock in bien-pensant sections of the press – for conspiracy theory nonsense. One journalist even suggested that men in white coats should be called for the paper's editor, Paul Dacre. I would very much like to join in the liberal sneering – but the trouble is, the Mail got most of it right.
"The paper asserts that one of the chief advisers to Lord Leveson's inquiry into press ethics is a man you have never heard of called Sir David Bell. Bell is one of those mysterious creatures who have risen without trace to run everything in Britain. More pertinently, it transpires that he is a co-founder of the pompous and parti pris Media Standards Trust, which seems to wish for tabloid newspapers to be closed down en masse.
"Further, the Trust set up the campaign group Hacked Off – that convocation of injured celebrities who do not wish you to know that they spend every evening snorting three tons of cocaine.
"Individuals from Hacked Off (most definitely not the ones who do the cocaine, I should point out, m'lud) have appeared before Leveson demanding regulation of the press. In other words, Bell is judge, jury, and chief witness for the prosecution. He should not be there at all. But he is there, because like a bunch of other self-important busybodies on the metro-left, he is everywhere. Everywhere and nowhere, baby.
"The Daily Mail draws links between Bell and various other similarly powerful bien-pensant Blairite groups, both charitable concerns and quangos. Such as the hopeless broadcasting regulator Ofcom, for example, which wishes to regulate the press, too – and a scary organisation called, with a discreet nod to the Soviets, Common Purpose. This trains people to be pliant Blairite munchkins and the BBC, among others, has spent thousands and thousands of pounds using its consultancy and training services. Two other Leveson advisers have links to it.
"Also in the mix is the Bureau of Investigative Journalism – of which Bell is a trustee and donor. You may have heard of this lot: they were responsible for the useless Newsnight “investigation” that brought down the Director-General of the BBC. These hapless monkeys appeared before Leveson – and their, uh, impartial benefactor, Bell – insisting that they represent the “gold standard” of investigative journalism. Oh, how we laughed: fool's gold. The Media Standards Trust is also responsible for the laughable Orwell prize, doled out every year to some Blairite hack whom Orwell, were he alive, would wish to punch in the throat.
"Bell has loads of jobs, loads of posts. This is something the Mail failed to report, even in its 11 pages. But it's crucial. Beccause Bell and 100 or so others – such as Lord “Ten Jobs” Patten – actually run everything. They are on the boards of every arts funding body, charitable institution, advisory committee, pressure group, quango, inquiry, opera house and so on. In good Gramscian fashion, they now run the country. And they are there because of their homogeneous, agreeable, right-on views.
"What the Daily Mail has uncovered isn't a conspiracy at all – it's just the new Establishment: well-heeled, authoritarian, middle class liberals who, for the most part, have done little more than espouse views agreeable to the salons of Islington and Notting Hill.
"I'll investigate and report back to you about whether they're also alien lizard things, the rest's QED."
Glossary, for those ignoramuses who don't aspire to the giddy heights of the Sunday Times ...
“bien pensant” - politically correct, right on, okay, yah
“parti pris” - an opinion formed beforehand without adequate evidence. Couldn't happen here, then
“Gramscian” - after Marxist theoritician Antonio Gramsci who used the term “hegemony” to denote the predominance of one social class over others.
“Holly Willoughby” - television co-host of that wanker Phillip Schofield, who recently made a formal objection to the Press Complaints Commission over a "fake up the skirt" photo published in the Sunday Sport newspaper, and was voted “best breasts” in the Daily Mail.
And yes, we did have to look up the last two on the interwebs.
either on this site or on the World Wide Web.
Copyright © 2012 The GOS