This titillating little tale lifted from the august pages of your favourite news organ and ours, the D**ly M**l. Whatever would we do without it?
A university professor who got off his train one stop before his final destination was stunned when he was asked to pay £155 to leave the station.
Martyn Evans was told he would have to pay up after leaving the train at Darlington, near his home, rather than wait until Durham where he works at the university’s philosophy department. Prof. Evans had bought three advanced first-class singles from train firm, East Coast, to cover his journey from Durham to London, on to Birmingham and back to Durham.
As it was approaching 8pm as he arrived in the North-East, he decided to disembark one stop early to go home to Hurworth near Darlington.
However, when he tried to leave the station, the automatic barrier would not let him through.
Station staff said his ticket was invalid because he had left the train too early, and was told he would have to pay some £155 - the price of the same ticket from Birmingham to Darlington.
Instead, he signed an invoice and asked to pay the ticket later.
A train
Prof.Evans said: 'Like most people, it did not enter my mind that I was in default of the terms and conditions by getting off the train early. Anyone would understand that you’d be liable to pay extra if you stayed on the train too long. But by getting off early you are not even using all of the product that you’ve paid for. The whole process made me feel like a wrongdoer from the beginning and that disgusted me more than just the money itself. It’s absolute madness - no-one would anticipate you’d be at fault for getting off too early.'
Alexandra Woodsworth, Public Transport Campaigner at Campaign for Better Transport, said: 'The Government has promised us fair rail fares, but being charged excessively for getting off a stop early doesn’t seem like a fair deal. Passengers need greater flexibility if they are to choose the train over driving or flying, and information about ticket restrictions need to be made much clearer.'
Since the issue was highlighted, train company East Coast have now cancelled the fee as a 'goodwill gesture' - though defended its stance by saying that the policy was standard across the industry. A spokesman for East Coast said: 'The terms and conditions of the Advanced Purchase First Class ticket - the ticket which Professor Evans had used for his journey - clearly state that breaking a journey en route, or starting from an intermediate station is not permitted.
'We have contacted Professor Evans to discuss this with him and, as we accept this was a genuine mistake on his behalf, we have cancelled the excess fare he was charged on this occasion as a gesture of goodwill.'
We think it would be really nice, and might save a lot of arguments later, if employees of the railway company could learn to speak English. To the nice East Coast spokesman we'd like to say: “Prof.Evans didn't start his journey from an intermediate station. He ended it at an intermediate station. Starting and ending are not the same thing.
“Also, he did not break his journey. When you break your journey, you get off halfway, go to a restaurant, pub, drug den, prostitute, Anabaptist Revival meeting or what have you, and then get on a later train to continue your journey. Prof.Evans didn't break his journey, he ended it. Again, there is quite a difference between breaking and ending. If we come round with a couple of baseball bats and break both your legs before ending your miserable, ignorant life, do you think that might clarify the distinction?
Probably not.”
And for anyone out there who genuinely can't see what the railway company did that was so wrong (that's about half the readers of the D**ly M**l, to judge from the website comments), we present this amusing little scenario ...
“Good evening, sir. Welcome to Dirty Dick's Roadside Café. What can I get you?”
“Erm ... let's see ... I'd like sausage, egg, bacon, tomato and chips, please. And a cup of tea.”
“Certainly sir. That's sausage, egg, bacon, tomato and chips, and a cup of tea. Would you like Earl Grey, or perhaps something more exotic? We have some delightful mint tea, for instance, or a china tea infused with a delicate hint of ginger? Or how about red bush?”
“No thanks, just ordinary builders' tea, please.”
(Sniffs disdainfully). “Very good, sir. Did you pick up a tray, sir?”
“Er, no ... I ...”
“No matter, sir. There's one here ..”
“Thanks.”
“Now, here we are, sir. Be very careful, the plate's hot. Sausage, egg, bacon, tomato and chips ... and here's your tea. That'll be £5.89 altogether, please ... that's lovely, thanks very much ... and here's your change. Bon appetit, sir!”
*****
“Sir! Sir! Excuse me, sir! I'm sorry, but aren't you forgetting something?”
“What? I don't think so ... let's see, wallet, briefcase, light summer waterproof ... no, I think I've got everything, thanks!”
“No sir, I think you've forgotten the bill?”
“Bill? Of course I haven't. I paid you when I collected my food at the counter, don't you remember? £5.89, it was. See, here's the receipt!”
“Ah, but sir, that was for sausage, egg, bacon, tomato and chips with a cup of tea, wasn't it? But that isn't what you actually ate, was it? See – there on the table! You didn't eat the tomato!”
“So what? I didn't like the taste. What about it?”
“Well, sir, you asked for sausage, egg, bacon, tomato and chips, and that's what we supplied. We formed a contract, as it were, between us: we would supply sausage, egg, bacon, tomato and chips and a cup of tea, and you would pay us £5.89.”
“Yes, and so I did. What the hell are you on about?”
“Well, sir, what you actually ate was not the meal contracted for, was it? What you actually ate was sausage, egg, bacon and chips. That's a different meal entirely. And sausage, egg, bacon and chips costs £4.50. So, as you've eaten sausage, egg, bacon and chips, would you mind paying us £4.50, otherwise I shall have to call the police?”
“Bugger off, you cock! I'm not paying you a penny piece more! Now get out of my way, I've got an appointment!”
“I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. I'm afraid I can't allow you to leave the café until you've paid us what you owe. See, my two hefty colleagues are standing by, just in case. You ate a meal, and you haven't paid for it. And by the way, I was kidding about the police. I've already called them. Listen! Here they are now, can you hear them? Such a merry sound, I always think ... nee-naw, nee-naw, nee-naw ....”
The GOS says: Jesus wept. As well He might.
What intrigues me about this story is that the good Professor seems to have been travelling first class. Presumably he wasn't paying his own fare but was on expenses. What's so bloody special about a professor that we have to spend public money wafting him around the country in first class? He's just a bloody teacher, for God's sake. Probably not a very good one, if my university days were anything to go by. Let him travel cattle-class like the rest of us! It's not as if he even teaches a proper subject.
Oh, and one more thing. A man was arrested today because he (allegedly) locked his front door and wouldn't let a gas-fitter leave because he hadn't finished the job. The owner of a small business was charged and convicted some months ago, because he did a citizen's arrest on an employee who'd robbed him and marched him through the streets with a label round his neck saying "Thief". Car-clampers have recently been prosecuted for clamping cars on private property and then demanding cash from the owners. The courts deemed that this amounts to "blackmail".
So how come the railway company thinks it's OK to imprison its passengers at the station, which is apparently what they did to the professor? And why didn't he (intelligent, educated etc. etc.) have the gumption to call the police himself and complain that he was being subjected to false imprisonment?
either on this site or on the World Wide Web.
Copyright © 2010 The GOS