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30th June 09: Such a brilliant book, we're plugging it twice!
30th June 09: Go on, stick your own oar in!
25th June 09: I want a floating duck-house ...
23rd June 09: I dunno, you wait ages for some common-sense and then two come along together ...
20th June 09: Democracy isn't working ...
18th June 09: A brilliant book, essential reading for everyone with half a brain ...
18th June 09: Planning permissions? Depends who you claim to be ...
13th June 09: Jobsworths rampant
13th June 09: Travellers' Tales?
11th June 09: Plus ça change, plus c'est pareil
5th June 09: Bloody background bloody music too bloody loud!
2nd June 09: Poor Susan Boyle, they didn't let her win. How unfair.
26th May 09: Tch, it's just not good enough - for two pins I'd say something ...
22nd May 09: All the little piggies, snouting in the trough ...
22nd May 09: Wonders will never cease: our legal system gets something right!
21st May 09: To err is human ... and boy, are some of us human?!
18th May 09: Who makes the laws round here, the government or the police?
18th May 09: The Left keep churning out class hatred ...
15th May 09: Freedom Summer - reclaiming our private public life ...
11th May 09: Guilty until proven ... er ... guilty: it's all in the database ...
11th May 09: Ten myths about Global Warming ...
11th May 09: Under Neue Arbeit, only the left are allowed to protest ...
7th May 09: Renewable energy without the hot air. That's a first!
1st May 09: The Family Courts still keeping their secrets ...
30th April 09: 'Girl, 13, already has cough'
29th April 09: Us oldies could rule the world, if we only realised it ...
28th April 09: Now it's illegal to be ordinary ...
28th April 09: If you've nothing to hide, you've nothing to fear ...
28th April 09: Why the hell do we still listen to scientists?
26th April 09: A national newspaper ought to be able to simple sums, shouldn't it?
26th April 09: What other countries think of our repressive society ...
15th April 09: Please note: this story is NOT funny, all right?
14th April 09: The NHS: if a cowboy builder gave this level of service he'd be on Watchdog ...
11th April 09: ... a new website you just HAVE to see ...
11th April 09: All the fat little piggies with their fat little snouts in the trough ...
10th April 09: Yet more tales of legalised kidnap by the social workers' kangaroo courts ...
31st March 09: It's not just us, then ...
30th March 09: This is OUR money you're spending, you bastards!
30th March 09: The democratic right to bully and bullshit ...
25th March 09: Irish terrorists get better treatment than teachers ...
25th March 09: The mathematics of success ...
25th March 09: Are these fat pigs the shape of Britain to come?
25th March 09: A drunk woman isn't responsible for her actions but a drunk man is?
20th March 09: A small victory for the sheep ...
19th March 09: Is this the worst film ever? One reviewer thinks so.
16th March 09: One voice of sense in a lunatic crisis ...
13th March 09: Why more equal societies almost always do better
12th March 09: The great Global Warming scam marches on. Here's the latest ...
12th March 09: Arbitrary powers of arrest - sign the petition now
11th March 09: Halifax, your caring local bank ...
11th March 09: The spy who COULDN'T love me. Or walk, even ...
11th March 09: Why we won't be watching or giving on Friday night.
11th March 09: Education, education, education. Yeah, right.
11th March 09: But sometimes the sun does shine ...
9th March 09: No, honesty is definitely NOT the best policy ...
9th March 09: Some people have nicer houses than others. How unfair.
9th March 09: Wonderful things, targets. As long as you don't have to meet 'em yourself.
8th March 09: Too many accidents? Just cut the speed limit until we all grind to a halt. That'll fix it.
1st March 09: One rule for the rich and famous, another for everyone else ...
28th February 09: Another great scientific leap forward ...
28th February 09: Chief Police Officers going into business for themselves ...
26th February 09: The WI fighting to legalise prostitution. Now there's a surprise.
26th February 09: Time to go, McGordon McBroon ...
24th February 09: Just what is it that these people DO for all their money?
22nd February 09: Now all photography could be illegal ...
20th February 09: Now even our security chiefs are worried about Stasi Britain
15th February 09: Concentrating on the REALLY important things ...
15th February 09: Do not read this page. It's offensive and probably illegal.
15th February 09: Those bush-fires; all our fault. Now there's a surprise ...
13th February 09: This is how Captain Grumpy spends his weekends ...
11th February 09: Our privacy and why we should be fighting for it ...
9th February 09: If cars were as up-to-date as computers ...
8th February 09: It's all in the database. So are you.
7th February 09: Is the UN becoming a racist organisation advocating genocide?
7th February 09: Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell-Douglas military aircraft ...
7th February 09: words of wisdom from the US military - now there's a first!
5th February 09: If someone has a face like a horse, what's wrong with saying so? Rudeness apart, of course ...
29th January 09: ... oh no, first it was the polar bears and now it's the penguins ...
29th January 09: ... oh no, first it was the polar bears and now it's the penguins ...
26th January 09: ... readers' comments on low-energy light-bulb bollox ...
26th January 09: ... has the BBC done something right for a change?
25th January 09: ... is citizenship a right or a privilege?
25th January 09: ... lies, lies and damned statistics ...
24th January 09: ... just lie, and lie, and lie again ...
24th January 09: ... something fishy going on in Cornwall ...
24th January 09: ... Freedom of Information as a tool for the government?
24th January 09: ... this is the way the money goes, money goes, money goes ...
15th January 09: ... and on the first day, man invented God ...
14th January 09: Every crime's a sex crime now, it seems ...
14th January 09: The Met Office gets it wrong again, but congratulates itself anyway ...
8th January 09: Those bloodthirsty Israelis, murdering innocent children ...
8th January 09: See ourselves as others see us. And our kids ...
8th January 09: Now Yahoo! joins the ranks of the internet spies ...
8th January 09: More bias from the BBC. No surprise there, then ...
7th January 09: Once again terrorism is an excuse for official bullying ...
27th December 08: Why we'll never understand the credit crunch ...
24th December 08: We're all motorists. How come we hate ourselves so much?
24th December 08: Scientists - not the greatest fortune tellers ...
23rd December 08: Official who terrorised innocent family gets a taste of her own medicine ...
22nd December 08: A Merry Christmas to All Our Readers ...
14th December 08: Democracy? Don't kid yourselves ...
9th December 08: Once again, they're out to get you through your kids. Or to get your kids ...
9th December 08: family fights back against social workers' lies ...
7th December 08: It's nice to get a bit of feedback occasionally ...
7th December 08: You just don't know which lying bastard to believe, do you?
6th December 08: A mistake is not a crime, however serious the consequences ...
5th December 08: Nu-Labour jackboots on the march again ...
5th December 08: If only people would STOP thinking about the children all the time ...
5th December 08: The police cock it up again ...
4th December 08: Arr, Jim lad! ...

 

 
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This tale by Richard Morrison was published in the Times today (20th February):
 
"Because I have a perversely nocturnal brain I often write late into the night. So I had only just gone to bed last Thursday when the phone rang. My bedside clock said 3.11am. I answered with a sense of foreboding. Aside from the odd wrong number, any call we get between three and seven in the morning usually means that someone we know well is in some sort of trouble.
 
"So it proved. We had been called by a service called Lifeline. If you are old, infirm or housebound and live by yourself, you wear an electronic device like a pendant round your neck. Should you take a tumble and can't get up, you press it to speak to a central operator who has the phone numbers of your nearest and dearest. It's a reasonable system, though I can't help thinking guiltily that if we - we as individuals, and we as society - really cared about our elderly we wouldn't leave them quite so much to fend for themselves.
 
"Anyway, we flung on pullovers and whizzed two miles up the road to see what had happened to the lady concerned: a close relative, aged 86. The sight that greeted us was shocking. She had fallen on her way to the loo, opened up an ulcer, was shivering and half-conscious. Her skin was a ghastly blue. Worst of all, she was crumpled into a pool of her own blood. To my untutored eye, she seemed to have lost pints.
 
"It was just after 3.30am. I dialled 999. When I described the old lady's condition the operator gave clear, concise first-aid instructions and said an ambulance was on its way. We found blankets, made her as comfortable as we could, and prayed that help wouldn't arrive too late.
 
"Alas, this is Britain, 2007. At around 3.45am the phone rang. It was the London Ambulance Service. The essence of the call was: we're a bit busy tonight, sorry; can you cope? We said we would do our best. Seven minutes later our patient lost consciousness. Panicking, we called 999 again. Hang on in there, we were told. More agonising minutes passed. There is no helplessness worse than watching someone's life slip away for lack of prompt medical care in the middle of one of the richest, most sophisticated cities on the planet.
 
"At 4.05am we heard a noise outside and glimpsed a flashing blue light coming along the road. I raced down the stairs to guide the ambulance to the flat. But the surreal sight that greeted me almost made me keel over with amazement.
 
"It was a fire engine.
 
"The crew were already running towards me, breathing-gear and hoses at the ready. "Where's the incident?" one shouted.
 
""What incident?" I replied. "The incident at this address," he said. "Someone phoned 999 for the fire service."
 
""We called for an ambulance," I said. "An old lady's had a bad fall."
 
"The firemen looked bemused but undaunted. They leapt up the stairs with every bit of medical clobber they could find. But I sensed that the spectacle in the flat alarmed them almost as much as it terrified us. By now the pool of blood stretched a couple of feet in every direction from where the woman lay. It was 4.10am - 40 minutes after we had made the 999 call. Luckily, skilled help was soon on hand. A paramedic turned up in a car. She administered oxygen and issued an urgent request for an ambulance on her radio. Only then did it transpire that there were no ambulances available in our area: a huge swath of northwest London. One would have to be despatched from Islington. "Eight minutes max, this time of night," said one of the firemen, trying to be reassuring.
 
"It took 25. At 4.35am, about 65 minutes after we had made the first call, the ambulance arrived. The old lady finally got to hospital more than two hours after she had pressed her alarm.
 
"Interestingly, A&E was virtually empty. There had been - surprise, surprise - no horrific incident tying up all the ambulances in North London in the early hours of last Thursday morning. The truth, it seemed, was that there was only one manned ambulance covering the entire area that night. Why? Because (we were informally told) the authority concerned had suspended ambulance crews' overtime, presumably in an attempt to alleviate its well-publicised financial problems.
 
"Once again, as so often in Blair's Britain, we had encountered a colossal gap between what the politicians tell us is right with the country, and what our own eyes and brains tell us is wrong. More than £92 billion of our taxes is poured into the health service annually. That's around £1,800 a year for every man, woman and child in England and Wales. We are assured that things are getting better all the time. The NHS certainly boasts more bureaucrats and fancy computer programs than ever before. Yet a semiconscious 86-year-old lies in a pool of her blood for 65 minutes waiting for an ambulance. In what sense is that progress? What are the NHS's priorities, if not for dealing with that?
 
"The old lady, you will be pleased to know, is slowly recovering. Those Blitz-generation Londoners are as tough as nails."

 
But I think up here in East Anglia we have a story to top even that: at 2.00 in the morning, Ipswich Hospital sent home an 84-year-old heart patient, on his own, in a taxi, wearing only his pyjamas.
 
Raymond Rowe was "confused and bewildered" when he was woken and sent home and his story has today sparked an apology from hospital staff. Today, his son Trevor Rowe, of Bramford, said: "I can't believe they woke an 84-year-old at 1.45am to tell them to go home. Perhaps a 20 or 30-year-old could cope with it, but not a confused and bewildered elderly man." Trevor added that his father was not the sort of man to make a fuss.
 
Mr Rowe, of Robin Drive, was taken into the Heath Road hospital by paramedics on Monday with chest pains and breathlessness. His son visited him in the afternoon and evening and was told by doctors his father would probably be ready to go home the following day, but Mr Rowe, who had a stroke and heart bypass around eight years ago, was sent home from the Brantham Asessment and Oservation Ward earlier than planned because blood test results had come back sooner than expected.
 
You have to wonder, don't you, what sort of cretin the NHS is employing these days. Somewhere in Ipswich Hospital - still in Brantham Ward, presumably - is a member of staff, perhaps a doctor, perhaps a sister or a nurse, whose perception of what is right and proper doesn't stretch very far. It obviously didn't cause them, the other night, to wonder if two o'clock in the morning isn't a rather inappropriate time to be rousing a confused and elderly patient and shoving him out, alone, into the sleeping streets.
 
A spokesman for the hospital said "As with every other hospital in the country, we are very busy this week, it's that time of year and we had three wards closed to new patients because of a winter vomiting bug."
 

 
The GOS says: Yes, and your point is ...?
 
If any NHS workers should happen to be reading this, can I advise you that Ipswich Hospital is actually my nearest hospital. If ever I am so unfortunate as to require treatment in that establishment, I can guarantee that, while I may be advanced in years, I am not at all confused and I have not the slightest objection to making a very great deal of fuss. You try and shove me out on the streets before I'm ready, and you'll have a fight on your hands. That's a promise.

 

 

 
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