Our Wanker for this week is Norman Baker, the Lib-Dem spokesman for the environment.
In a letter to the "Driving" section of the Sunday Times he takes issue with Professor David Bellamy about global warming. David Bellamy, one of the UK's best-known scientific pundits, has for a long time been expressing the unpopular and un-PC view that global warming is a natural phenomenon and not caused by mankind's activities.
Now the GOS, being a down-to-earth and commonsensical old fart, believes that as David Bellamy knows about fifteen zillion times as much as the rest of us about matters scientific, he should at least merit a little serious attention. Time may prove him right or it may prove him wrong, but he is not a stupid man and he has spent his life studying such things.
Norman Baker, on the other hand, studied German at London University as well as running one of the college bars. Before being an MP he held a variety of jobs - Regional Executive Director of Our Price Records, clerk at Hornsey railway station, manager of a wine shop and teacher of English as a Foreign Language. Not much of a scientist, then.
But that doesn't put Wanker Norm off one bit, because he has powerful proof of his point. His letter to the Sunday Times says that David Bellamy must be wrong because "even George W.Bush now accepts there is a problem".
Wow! That settles it, then. If George Doubleyew thinks we're destroying the planet, David Bellamy must be making a serious mistake.
But wait a minute, Wanker Norm. Is this the same George W.Bush who started the Iraq War? Is this the man who can't be arsed to remember proper words so just makes up his own, the longer the better? Is this the man who said "And so, in my State of the - my State of the Union - or state - my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation - I asked Americans to give 4,000 years - 4,000 hours over the next - the rest of your life - of service to America. That's what I asked - 4,000 hours".
Is it the same President who claimed "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we"? The one who hears voices in his head that tell him to do things? (Here's a thought. If you were God and you wanted to speak to someone, who would you choose? George Doubleyew or someone with an actual brain?)
Sorry, Wanker. Yours is not a strong argument - our money's on David Bellamy every time. And you - well, if you take a really stupid person for your authority, I think that makes you … erm … even more stupid?
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