C******, who claims to be the grumpiest 20-year-old in England, nominates hotel heiress and socialite Paris Hilton for "Wanker of the Week". You're all no doubt aware that she was sent to jail for 45 days for repeatedly driving while disqualified, was released after three days by the local Sheriff, but sent back to serve the rest of her sentence by a judge who has been described as, variously, "unreasonable", "never likely to work in this town again" and "a feckin' hero".
C******* writes ….
I can just imagine Ms Hilton at school. The "look at me" kid. The kind who was always fainting or would make themselves sick whenever daddy wouldn't get them a pony. Ms Hilton is yet another example of more money than sense, to the extent that her stupidity has actually got her locked up. Obviously, she couldn't have been expected to know that a driving ban meant she wasn't allowed to drive.
Believe it or not, she ended up in court like a normal person and is supposed to serve 45 days in jail. Not surprising when her defence was "it wouldn't be good for the public for me to go jail". Gosh! However would we cope? Our lives would fall apart without her guiding influence! Amazingly it looks like she's actually going to have serve the entire sentence - even fainting, crying and pretending to be insane hasn't worked. Sorry Paris, a county judge just can't be fooled as easily as daddy.
Funny, isn't it? No matter how rich and famous you are, you still end up bladdered
and crying against the wall of a public toilet, while your friends say things like
"Leave it, right, he's not worth it!", and some turd in a blue shirt nicks
your friend's purse out of her bag.
So yes, the woman most famous for being rich and famous (how does that work? What has she ever actually achieved other than inadvertently becoming a porn star in a homemade sex tape?) has actually got to do her time. A whole 45 days without make-up, cocktails and facials.
"By far the hardest thing I have ever done", she is quoted as saying. As stupid as that comment is, I have a feeling she's not lying! So we should all feel sorry for poor Paris Hilton, in the special celebrity area of her prison, probably better than most Travelodges. 80-year-old pensioners can cope with being locked up for not paying their Council Tax, but it's all too much for a 26-year-old.
Of course, now she knows she's not fooling anyone, she's turned to God. The last resort for the brain dead with nowhere else to turn but sadly this is what religion has become - an excuse for actions, or in Ms Hilton's case a good old-fashioned "God has given me a chance to repent". This is primarily to connect with God-fearing Americans and to prove she regrets what she's done, so everyone will think "Aw, poor Paris, she's not really a bad person" etc. I expect when she gets out she'll do some charity work in Africa, or if that's too daunting for her, she'll donate X amount to a charity of a starving country she's never heard of, let alone able to place on a map.
Yet people continue to read and swallow this kind of thing. The Trisha-watching, White-Lightning drinkers, roll-up smokers (Oi, do you mind? I roll me own! But what's White Lightning - am I missing out on something? - GOS). But can we blame these people? Has society failed them to the extent where they can't get stable employment and the highlight of the month is Giro Day? Perhaps Little Britain is an accurate reflection of the British masses? If so God help us all.(We can. It hasn't. It is. He won't - GOS).
The ReasonOnline website comments ….
Hilton … is almost universally hated. I'm not setting myself above everyone else here - I can't stand her either. She plays a very specific public role: the bad girl, spoiled and stupid, privileged and irresponsible, hedonistic in the most dull and predictable ways. Different viewers have different reactions to this, but the typical response is extremely negative. Like Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears, Hilton lets her tabloid audience feel both resentful and superior. Unlike Lohan or Spears, Hilton hasn't accomplished anything that might offset that contempt. Lohan and Spears became famous for acting and singing, respectively, and only then spilled into the more open-ended entertainment of the gossip press; millions of fans have a residual affection for their work that keeps them from being as despised as they could be. But Hilton debuted in the gossip columns. She has appeared in movies and has made an album, but those came later: She isn't a celebrity because she recorded a CD, she recorded a CD because she's a celebrity. And she's a celebrity because people like to loathe her. Being a scapegoat is part of her job.
Traditionally the scapegoat was killed or exiled for good, but the modern celebrity cycle won't let someone go so easily. After her fall, the victim begins a redemption process, or as it is known in our medicalized age, a rehabilitation process. She loudly reforms herself, begs our forgiveness, appears on talk shows, pitches a product. Paris is prepared: Last week she called Barbara Walters to announce that she had found God, intends to clean up her act, and has started thinking of what's best for "the young girls who look up to me."
The GOS says: What kind of name is "Paris Hilton" anyway? Would my daughter be a celebrity if I'd christened her "Scunthorpe Travelodge"?
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