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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
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There's a lot of absolute b*ll*x being talked at the moment about rape, and former newspaper boss Eddy Shah has stoked the conflagration somewhat by daring to suggest that all men are not violent predators and occasionally girls might actually want to have sex. He might as well have postulated that Jesus was the love-child of the Prophet Mohammed and the Seven-Breasted Whore of Babel – he could hardly have attracted more ignorant, thoughtless condemnation.
 
Mr.Shah walked free recently after a jury cleared him of several counts of raping a schoolgirl. He had claimed that although he had met the girl, he never touched her. We haven't see the trial transcript, but from newspaper reports it seems that the only evidence against him was the girl's allegation.
 
It seems fair enough that a man who has gone through the torment of a criminal trial and all the public humiliation that must accompany such charges, should want to make a few comments to the public that watched his ordeal. But if he thinks that talking plain common sense is going to cut much ice, he's a bit of an idealist.
 
We all know that children are sexually active these days. Most of us old geezers never got a sniff of a girl's titty until we were nineteen or twenty. These days girls arrive at secondary school with their knickers in their satchels, if certain newspapers are to be believed.
 
We can also imagine very easily that some young girls will be eager to act grown-up and engage in proper sex, and that they will naturally select the most attractive men for that purpose. And to a teenage girl, the most attractive men are not their gawky classmates all acne and adam's apple, but proper young men with jobs and cars and all the chat.
 
Trouble is, the law makes it illegal for a man to have sex with an underage girl. It's called 'statutory rape'. We suspect the police or the CPS often exercise a bit of discretion – it may be illegal for a seventeen-year-old boy to have sex with his willing fifteen-year-old girlfriend, but the point of prosecuting him would be ... what?
 
The purpose of this law is laudable. It is to protect girls from making rotten decisions. There must be an awful lot of girls who lost their virginity at thirteen or fourteen, didn't enjoy it as much as they expected, and regret it for the rest of their lives. It is probably these same girls who are now leading the charge for men like Eddy Shah. And of course we must, in a caring society, make an assumption that a young girl needs to be saved from her own hormones, from peer pressure, from social pressure so that when she really does make the decision to give it up, she's adequately informed and able to give it some mature thought and enjoy the process.
 
But – and this is a big but – it is absurd, illogical and a downright lie to use the word “rape” for such protection. To have sex with an underage girl who is willing and not under any kind of pressure, who might even be enthusiastic, may be wrong. It can be, and probably should be, and is, illegal. But it is not rape and shouldn't be called rape.
 
Rape is non-consensual sex. Rape is when the woman says “no”, or tries to say “no”, or would have said “no” if she'd dared but was too frightened, or who would have said “no” but was coerced by threat or blackmail or other pressure into saying “yes”. When a fourteen-year-old girl tears her clothes off, leaps on the bed and says “come on, let's do it!” it ain't rape.
 
Eddy Shah tried to say just that, but did so rather crudely. He said ‘rape was a technical thing, below a certain age, but these girls were going out with the pop groups and becoming groupies and all the rest of it, and throwing themselves at them. Young girls and young men have always wanted a bit of excitement. They want to appear adult and do adult things.’
 
Odd, isn't it, that a man who founded newspapers can't put together a more coherent statement? But his words do ring true to those of us who lived through the sixties and seventies. Operation Yewtree has been described as a witch hunt, but it's something more sinister than that: it applies the standards of today to history. The arm of the law is reaching back into the past to take retrospective revenge.
 
Shah used the expression “rape rape”, meaning rape that is genuinely non-consensual. This led Pete Saunders, of the National Association of People Abused in Childhood, to say ‘I’d like to meet with Eddy, and to have him explain to me, and maybe explain to some rape victims, what he means by “raped raped”, because my understanding is there is rape, or there is not rape, and rape is always a crime.’
 
This is the b*ll*x we referred to above. We've used the word “rape” wrongly, we've applied it to something that is not rape, and therefore Saunders' simplistic thinking is just that – simplistic and plain wrong. Just suppose some sad, idealistic government (probably led by H Harperson) decided to protect women from the insult of being whistled at in the street by builders with their bottoms hanging out by calling it “rape”. Would it be rape? No, of course it wouldn't. Whistling at women may be offensive, it can even be made an offence (it probably is already), but calling it rape doesn't make it rape. Words mean what they mean, and legislation and good intentions can't change them. Consensual sex is not rape.
 
Mr.Saunders and many others would tell us 'Ah, but an underage girl can't give her consent'. But that's b*ll*x too. “No means no”, they're quick to tell us, but won't admit that the corollary is “yes means yes”. An underage girl might not be informed or sensible, but if she says “yes”, that's consent and not rape. It may still be illegal, certainly – we're not questioning that.
 
What we're questioning is the deliberate misuse of the English language, and we need to question it because it's the thin end of the 1984 wedge – war is peace, hunger is plenty, slavery is freedom, and yes means no.
 

 
The GOS says: All well and good, but this kind of thoughtful approach isn't going to go down very well with the kind of people who write to the Daily Mail website. The kind of people who mistake obduracy for strength, who put “end of” or “FACT” at the end of their messages to suggest that argument is useless, who hide behind facile clichés like “rape is rape” so they never have to put themselves out by thinking.
 
Damn, I seem to have ended up at the Daily Mail again. I hate that.

 

 
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