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5th March 10: Suffolk Social Services. Bastards, bastards, bastards ...
5th March 10: Perhaps Captain Grumpy isn't as clever as he thought ...
26th February 10: Government snoopers are at it again ...
26th February 10: The BBC lying through its teeth again. How stupid do they think we are?
25th February 10: ... give some people a uniform and a day-glo jacket ...
21st February 10: ... all kicking off in sunny Suffolk ...
21st February 10: There's nothing sexy about being wicked, Ms.Harman...
21st February 10: When politicians talk glibly in billions ...
29th January 10: Jumping on the racial bandwagon ...
24th January 10: Good to think positively for a change ...
8th January 10: What are weather forecasters FOR, exactly?
3rd January 10: George Moonbat has finally lost his mind. Shame.
23rd December 09: You know that feeling that they're all out to get you?
16th December 09: Greenpeace hoist with their own petard ...
15th December 09: ... the most overweening, arrogant piece of self aggrandisement humankind has ever had the nerve to perpetrate ...
13th December 09: We're all paedophiles now, because the government says so ...
12th December 09: The BBC is not impartial or neutral - Andrew Marr
1st December 09: Not like those soft Southern bastards, then ...
1st December 09: Quis custodiet ipsos custodies?
1st December 09: ClimateGate. Oh, good!
27th November 09: MP's blunt attack on social service kidnap
25th November 09: Ommbudsmen - whose side are they on, exactly?
19th November 09: The spies looking over your shoulder - RIGHT NOW!
19th November 09: We all need protection from the child protectors ...
11th November 09: A sense of proportion? No, not much!
9th November 09: Shock! Horror! Is the GOS a gay-basher?
31st October 09: Whose side are they on? Bloody good question!
23rd October 09: A sad day for democracy and free speech
21st October 09: The law is already an ass. Why make it worse?
20th October 09: But who are we to criticise? I mean, Brains R'n't Us, exactly, are they?
17th October 09: Here's looking at you, kid ...
14th October 09: What I did on my holiday, by an MP
9th October 09: Hollywood gets science wrong ...
9th October 09: Stick to arresting old ladies - it's safer
6th October 09: Cheer up, it could be worse. You could be American ...
4th October 09: Just what did the Irish electorate thing they were voting for?
30th September 09: Two new campaigns we think you should support - we do
30th September 09: Pandas - useless, boring and suicidal ...
25th September 09: It is for the state to define who may speak and who must be silent
22nd September 09: Two wheels good. Four wheels ba-a-a-a-ad!
18th September 09: It's official - we're all paedophiles now ...
18th September 09: So can private carparking contractors really enforce their tickets?
13th September 09: How nice to know there are experts tirelessly looking out for us ...
12th September 09: Our brave new Britain: speak your mind and lose your children ...
9th September 09: You mark my words, no good'll come of it. Far too sensible ...
9th September 09: GOS - a bit slow on the uptake, to be honest ...
9th September 09: Not a lot of people know this ...

 

 
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This article appeared in the Telegraph the other day. Written by Francis Gilbert, a serving teacher, it reveals the true state of British education - as if we didn't already know ...
 

 
The parent sobbed openly at the reception of the secondary school where I teach: "But it's not fair! You have to let her in!" Our secretary had to ask our caretakers to escort her off the premises. But she wasn't surprised. Every year, she gets hundreds of calls from panic-stricken parents wanting to know why their child didn't get into our over-subscribed comprehensive. Every year, she says the same thing: read the instructions in the admissions booklet very, very carefully. There's no way she can explain such a complex process over the phone. If she did, she'd never go home.
 
I teach in a very popular, co-educational comprehensive in outer London which gains some of the best results in the country. In common with many similar institutions, every year, over 400 applicants don't get an offer of a place. Much as we would like to take them, we have only one place for every three children applying. This year was no different: there were hundreds of bitterly disappointed families.
 
It's little consolation, but they might comfort themselves with the knowledge that they are not alone. On National Offer Day earlier this week, where parents discovered whether their child had been successful in applying for a place at secondary school, one fifth of parents didn't get their child into the school of their choice. In counties such as Kent, nearly a third of parents failed to get their preferred school.
 
It's no wonder thousands of parents are furious. A report from the London School of Economics published this week suggests that the whole system is in a state of chaos, with schools flagrantly flouting the rules – asking parents for personal information including marital status, occupation and even children's hobbies – and parents themselves being bamboozled by the arcane bureaucracy involved.
 
As a parent, teacher and writer who has researched this subject for years, I can only concur with the LSE's report. The central problem is that there is no consistency in the system: the rules or "admissions criteria" by which schools admit their pupils differ from school to school. There are a host of different rules when applying to grammar schools, academies, faith-schools, specialist schools and plain-old bog standard comprehensives.
 
If you're applying to a faith school, you usually have to prove you've attended church regularly for a number of years, live within the parish and have a glowing reference from your local vicar or priest. If you're going for a specialist school, you'll get preferential treatment if you can prove your child has an "aptitude" in that specialism. For example, schools that specialise in sports will often need to see references from coaches and team leaders. For grammar schools, you'll need to pay for a private tutor so that your child will excel in the 11-plus exam. And if you're going for a good local comp, you might have to consider selling your house and moving closer to the school – or lying about your address, which increasingly parents are doing.
 
But even moving near a good school can backfire. Take Katie, who moved house so she could be near the only popular school in her area, a faith-based school which specialised in languages. She thought she had everything covered – the attendance at church, the vicar's references, the proof that her son has an aptitude for languages – only to find that in the year of her application her local authority switched to a lottery system: all the schools were allocated randomly. As a result, her application failed. She is now faced with the absurd prospect of having to drive her son miles away to a sink school, despite the fact that she lives next door to an excellent one. All her hard work was for nothing. "This Government has ruined my family's life," she told me, trying to hold back the tears.
 
Time and again, conscientious parents who have fought so hard to get their children into good schools have had their best laid plans smashed by idiotic Labour legislation.
 
But it isn't only the school admissions system that the Government has broken. It's the exam system as well. Since they arrived in 1997, Labour apparatchiks have done nothing but interfere with exams. Each new initiative has made things worse. The Sats exams for seven, 11 and 14-year-olds have been mired in controversy from the start, with claims from parents and teachers that they are irrelevant and put pupils under unnecessary pressure.
 
The situation was so bad last summer, when swathes of Sats papers were lost and thousands denied their results, that the Children's Secretary, Ed Balls, abandoned Sats for 14-year-olds and indicated that he was even considering scrapping the exam for all ages – a ghastly admission of defeat.
 
Even more seriously, A-levels and GCSEs have lost their credibility. The Government trumpets that the number of pupils gaining five A*-C grades at GCSE has risen from 44 per cent to 65 per cent since 1995, but any teacher knows this supposed improvement is nonsense. Recent research by Durham and Cambridge universities shows that the exams have become so dumbed down that these statistics are meaningless and that far from fostering real learning, the exam system has made our children less intelligent than they were in the 1970s, when far less was spent on education.
 
Meanwhile, the world education rankings run by the respected Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) – the only really trustworthy league table there is – shows Britain slipping from fourth to 14th for reading and from eighth to 24th for Maths. Put simply, most children from Europe and the Far East outperform our pupils every time – even in English.
 
Our exam system has become such a joke that many schools are giving up on it. Just this week, one of our top independent schools, Manchester Grammar, decided to abandon GCSEs, on the grounds that they were too easy, and to replace them with the International GCSE (IGCSE). In a letter to parents, the head poured scorn on the new GCSEs that the Government is introducing this September, observing that they threaten teachers' abilities to do their jobs well: they are stuffed full of easy questions and coursework.
 
Quite why the Government is bringing back coursework when its own investigations have uncovered widespread cheating and plagiarism appears a mystery until you realise that coursework significantly boosts results. In other words, the revamp of GCSEs is a cynical ploy to manipulate the statistics. But as any experienced teacher knows, coursework has a corrupting effect upon pupils because it makes them believe they can cheat their way to the top.
 
A real educational apartheid is developing between the independent schools who are abandoning the government's testing regime and the rest of us in the state sector who are lumbered with it. Clearly, children who take the wrong GCSEs haven't a hope of getting into the top universities because they haven't had the opportunity to gain respected qualifications.
 
One of the consequences of the Government decimating our exam system is that the process by which students apply for university has become farcical. The fact of the matter is that our best universities have lost faith in GCSEs and A-levels and have introduced their own tests. As a result, students have to fill in a barrage of forms, write a personal statement and take numerous A-level exams before gaining a place, and are also compelled to take exams set by the suspicious universities – particularly for popular courses such as medicine.
 
To make matters worse, the university admissions procedure is so haphazard that there is no uniformity over when the universities make their offers. So students are required to accept or reject an offer before they've heard back from all the places to which they have applied. Having been tested to the point of extinction, these poor students are frequently forced to sign up for inferior courses, even though they may have gained places on better ones. As with school admissions, one suspects this is a cynical ploy to make sure that the inferior universities are filled with students.
 
Our education system is failing on all counts: it is shockingly unfair, riddled with incompetence and corruption, and benefits no one but the bureaucrats. But while the pen-pushers enjoy enormous power and over-inflated wages, parents can see no end to their misery. Too many parents have watched helplessly as their children's education has gone down the drain: too many children have endured mediocre schools, taken too many worthless GCSEs, and saddled themselves with crippling debts to gain worthless degrees that lead nowhere but the dole queue.
 
Despite the phoney propaganda the Government peddles, Labour's incessant meddling, monstrous dumbing down and moronic self-righteousness have consigned our schools to the scrap heap. It pains me to say it, but our education system is as crisis-ridden as our banks.
 

 
The GOS says: There's a book by Francis Gilbert, "Parent Power: the complete guide to getting the best education for your child"
 

 
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