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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...


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Because it mirrors some of our own complaints we enjoyed this Telegraph article by Tom Chivers ...

Being a science-geek film fan can be exhausting. It’s hard to watch some films without wanting to shout at the screen “but that’s not how evolution works” or “computers can’t do that”. It’s pedantic, annoying for your fellow moviegoers, and utterly nerdy, but some of us can’t help it.
So in an attempt to scratch that geeky itch once and for all, here is a list of 20 of the most infuriating science and technology errors in movies.
1. Aliens are basically humans with silly foreheads
The Enterprise, thousands of light-years from Earth, encounters an alien spacecraft. The matter transporter beams one of their number aboard … and lo and behold, it’s Famke Janssen with some makeup on her forehead.
It’s a similar story with Vulcans (pointy eared humans – see also Romulans), Ferengi (grotesquely deformed humans) and Klingons (humans with Cornish pasties attached). Humanity looks like it does through a very specific set of evolutionary circumstances. Why should aliens look anything like us? And don’t say “to save on effects budgets”.
2. Antigravity love songs
Related to the above, with Star Trek again the main offender, although it happens everywhere. We find the idea of sex with our nearest evolutionary relative, the chimpanzee, repellent. And yet we are quite happy with the idea of Captain Kirk doing his interplanetary swordsman thing with a variety of smokin’ hot space babes. He might as well try it on with a nematode worm: at least it has DNA.
Incidentally, Spock is half human, half Vulcan. We have no idea how that is supposed to work.
3. The Ice Storm
Star Wars is guilty here. Young Luke grows up on Tatooine, a desert planet; by the start of The Empire Strikes Back, he’s found his way to Hoth, an ice planet. If those planets are able to support life as we know it, they will have warm bits at the equator and cold bits near the poles, like Earth.
4. Alien computers that run Windows
Independence Day, we’re looking at you. It is almost impossible to write a virus that will affect both Macs and PCs. And yet somehow Jeff Goldblum’s character manages to write a nasty little piece of malware that he can upload into an alien mothership’s mainframe and bring down its shields.
It’s a good thing they didn’t have Norton Antivirus, or humanity would have been screwed.
5. Slow-moving lasers
Laser beams move at the speed of light, largely because they are light. What they don’t do is spear through the ether ahead of your X-Wing like giant glowing arrows.
In fact, they don’t even glow – especially not in space, where there would be no air particles to diffract off. Although – and we have to acknowledge this – it did look much cooler like that.
6. Invisible force fields that stop visible laser beams
Again, laser beams are light. Visible light. Anything that stops visible light will stop them – anything visible light can pass through, they can pass through. So how on Earth do they get knocked aside by invisible deflector shields? Mr Lucas? Sir?
7. In space, no-one can hear an elephant scream
Did you know the distinctive sound made by the TIE fighters in Star Wars is the bellow of an elephant mixed with a car driving on a wet road? Weird – but not as weird as the fact that they make any sound at all.
Sound is a wave that needs to travel through a medium like air. Without particles to move, there can be no sound.
8. Who needs conservation of energy?
The Matrix is a great movie. Lots of things don’t make sense from a physics point of view inside the Matrix itself, but we can forgive that, because it’s meant to be a computer simulation – and, of course, because it’s so cool.
But the film is based on the idea that humans are kept alive as a sort of electricity generator (bringing a whole new meaning to the term “battery farming”). This is not just unlikely – it’s fundamentally impossible.
They will need more energy to keep alive than they will produce. It’s like saying you’ll power your car with batteries, and keep the batteries charged by running a dynamo from the wheels.
9. Dead before you hit the ground
In Tim Burton’s Batman, the Caped Crusader and Vicki Vale fall from a church tower, but luckily Batman has a grappling hook which he launches over the parapet. After falling a few hundred feet, reaching a speed well over a hundred miles an hour, they jerk to a halt.
Keen-eyed viewers will notice that his arm remains attached.
10. Science friction
If you’re moving in space, you will not stop if your engines get blown up, whatever Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home may tell you. Well, you might eventually, but only when you run into a planet or something.
11. Steamy Windows Vista
The hacker is desperately trying to hack into the mainframe, or the CIA is trying to trace the bad guy’s phone call, or whatever. The screen is filled with a big red sign saying ACCESS DENIED.
Suddenly it works – and an equally huge green sign saying ACCESS GRANTED. Just like your Gmail account does. Jurassic Park is a particularly egregious example of this.
Another computer-related issue occurs in Bridget Jones’ Diary, where emails are seen appearing on the recipient’s screen as they are typed, one letter at a time. Exactly like they do in real life.
12. Stars of CCTV
If you zoom in really close on a grainy security camera picture until the pixels almost fill the screen, you cannot then press some magical “enhance image” button and make it all perfectly clear. A pixel is a pixel.
Especially embarrassing in Blade Runner – where Decker zooms in on a reflection in a cabinet door and recreates a face – and Enemy of the State, where they manage to rotate the image in 3D.
13. Are we nearly there yet?
In The Empire Strikes Back, the plot hinges on the Millennium Falcon’s hyperdrive system failing, forcing them to travel from the Hoth system to the Bespin system at sub-light speeds.
If we take our own solar system as a guide, the nearest other star – Proxima Centauri – is 4.2 light years away. Even if it was only that far to Hoth, and even if “sub-light” meant relativistic near-light speeds, we could still expect several years’ journey time. Make sure you pack a good book.
14. Darwin spins in his grave
It is a common misconception of evolutionary theory that organisms are always getting “better”, with humans somehow the “best”. This goes hand-in-hand with the idea that there will be some later, better, superhuman, the “next stage in human evolution”.
The mutants in X-Men are a case in point. Simultaneously across the world, a new generation develops mutations that give them seemingly magical powers. They are even called "homo superior" by one character.
In reality, evolution takes place slowly, over thousands or millions of years. Mutations are rare, generally small, and almost invariably harmful. Species are not “better” or “worse” in some quasi-moral fashion, just more or less appropriate for their environment. An ape, a daffodil or a slug is exactly as evolved as we are, just in a different direction.
While we are on the subject, Kevin Costner’s character in Waterworld has developed gills. It’s as though the mutation happened in response to the environment changing. Again, this is not how it happens: evolutionary pressures work on what is already there, mutations do not happen in response to the environment.
15. DNA profiling
The baddie in the 2002 James Bond film Die Another Day’s bad guy has “gene therapy” to replace his DNA and change his appearance.
You can’t replace your DNA. It’s in all your cells and is what makes you you. It is considerably more ridiculous than having a brain transplant, which is very ridiculous indeed.
16. The tears of a clone
In Alien: Resurrection (also known as An Alien Film Too Far), the Ripley clone has memories of her old self. This could not possibly happen unless in some way our memory was written on to our DNA. Just to clarify, it isn’t.
Besides, the original Ellen Ripley was burned to death in a lake of boiling lava. The DNA might have degraded somewhat.
17. When the pink, pink robin goes bob, bob, bobbin’ along
A very specific one: the robin in Mary Poppins's London is an American robin.
Better still – and striking an early blow for gay rights – the two red-breasted robins shown building a nest together are both male.
18. Shooting range
When you get shot by a gun, you will not fly backwards (see: The Terminator, every John Woo film ever made). This is because a bullet does not weigh very much.
A 9mm bullet weighs less than a third of an ounce. If it is travelling at 1,300ft a second (about right) it will knock a 12-stone man backwards at around 0.15 feet a second. He might, in short, stumble slightly. Not hurtle back 20 feet and smash through a shop
On a connected note: in real life, bullets don’t spark when they hit things. Well done to Saving Private Ryan for representing that accurately.
19. Explosions are always cool
Cars almost never explode when they crash. The mix of fuel and air in the tank is too rich. Onlookers at crash sites are often so concerned about explosions that they unnecessarily jeopardize a person with a spinal injury by pulling them out of a wrecked car. The common Hollywood depiction fuels these harmful misconceptions.
Similarly, research shows that cigarettes will not set fire to puddles of petrol, no matter how nonchalantly you flick one in.
20. Eco worriers
Regarding eco-disaster thriller The Day After Tomorrow, it has been theorised (although largely discredited) that melting sea ice in the Arctic could stop the Gulf Stream and cause certain parts of the Atlantic coast to get colder. However, it very definitely will not happen overnight and cause some ice-tsunami thing.
Conversely, even if all the ice in the world melted, it would only raise the sea levels by about 200 feet. So no Waterworld-style water world.

Can't really make out what's going on here. The Telegraph appears to be developing a sense of humour.
And, what's more, a sense of fine discrimination. An entire article about scientific falsehoods in movies and not a single mention of Al Gore and "Inconvenient Truth"?
Now that's class!


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