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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
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Mxxxxx Bxxxxxx, a former police officer with over 30 years of dealing with gun crime, draws our attention to this report in the New Scientist ....
 

 
Pollen and grit are the components of a new coating for gun cartridges that UK researchers hope will help to identify criminals that use firearms. Under their scheme, batches of cartridges would be labelled with unique "nanotags", invisible to naked eye, designed to attach themselves to hands, gloves and clothing of anyone that handles a cartridge. Some of the tags would remain on the spent cartridge casing.
 
The tags could perform a similar, but more authoritative role to the specks of unintended explosives residue sometimes used to tie people to guns or crimes. The nanotags are made from pollen, and a mix of grains of crystal oxides such as zirconia, silica and titanium oxide. Using varying combinations of crystal and pollen grains, it is possible to make large numbers of unique tags.
 
"We decided to work with pollens because they have a unique structure, resistant to temperature and easily recognisable," said Paul Sermon from the University of Surrey, who has led the research. "It's also easily dispersed and carried around in clothes, skin, etc."
 
Pollen grains vary between plant species and are easily identified under a microscope. Chemical techniques could reveal which oxides were mixed with the pollen, and in which proportions to work out which batch of cartridges they originate from.
 
"The most challenging part of the project was nanoengineering a coating robust enough to withstand the high temperatures of firing and that would still release the tags when touched," he added.
 
Sermon says that the tags are designed to be compatible with current cartridge manufacturing processes and could be implemented within 12 months of companies or government supporting their introduction.
 
In addition to the tags, the researchers are working on a way to have gun cartridges retain skin cells from anyone that handle them, for later DNA-based forensic analysis. Micro-scale grit can effectively trap cells and protect DNA from the heat of firing. Today, cartridges are smooth and rarely retain DNA or fingerprints.
 
The team is also looking to apply that technique to knives so they retain DNA more reliably.
 
The tags were developed by researchers from Brighton, Brunel, Cranfield, Surrey and York Universities, with commercial collaborators including UK defence firm BAE Systems.

 

 
Sounds good, doesn't it? But Mxxxx Bxxxxxx, with his years of experience in the police, knows better. He wrote …
 

 
"Brilliant; except that it wouldn't work. Implemented within 12 months! Some research, or common sense, is required here. The centre fire cartridge has been around since 1861, there are countless millions out there that could not be tagged despite 'implementation within 12 months'. If all existing stocks were required to be destroyed then criminals would just retain a decent stock. Cost of compensation - who pays? Some cartridges are rare and unique in collections; yes, there is a British Cartridge Collectors Club and they are not going to be happy about valuable collections being destroyed.
 
Most ammunition is not manufactured in Britain but imported from almost every Country under the sun. Who is going to make them comply? Are we going to ban importation? Are we going to open every box of imported ammunition and treat it? Is each cartridge going to be treated individually? If not, then batch treating would be pointless as they would be sold off to many different people making it a complete waste of time as so many different people would test positive.
 
What about people who reload their own? A lot of people pick up spent cases and reload them as they use the cases to make specialist loads or to reform the case to fit obsolete firearms.
 
Only legal gun owners could be made to comply and the use of legal firearms in crime is negligible. Look what happened when the Government banned handguns, only the law-abiding complied; mainly because they were the only one with registered handguns whose whereabouts were known; cost of compensation was just under £100,000,000 and handgun crime has just about tripled since. A great success!
 
Ever thought why cartridges are currently smooth and don't have a roughened surface? That's is so they will eject from the gun and not get jammed in the chamber."

 

 
Shame, really, because it's an appealing idea. Imagine, gun criminals could choose their own favourite flowers. Arab terrorists could enjoy bullets scented with fragrant begonia socotrana from the Yemen, Yardies might choose the Lobster Claw Heliconia to remind them of Jamaica, and Cosa Nostra hitmen might favour Orange Blossom, though there are hidden pitfalls …
 
Marco: "Eh, Luigi, whatta you smell?"
Luigi: "Eh, Marco, I smella da bullet. He smell of da orange blossom. Here, you-a try!"
Marco (sniffs): "Eh, whatt-a you pull? You make-a da fool of Marco? Dis-a no orange blossom! Dis da mandarin!"
Luigi: "Eh, Marco, why you make-a da big deal? Orange is orange, capice?"
Marco: "Ignorant pig, why-a you not know mandarin imported into Sicilia by Arabs in-a da fifteenth century? Is-a not indigenous, capice?"
Luigi: "Ah, shaddup-a your face!"
 
And imagine the new dimension it would bring to crime detection, with far-reaching effects on detective fiction …
 
"Aha, Watson!" cried Holmes, "the game's afoot! The pollen on this cartridge comes from one of the rarest orchids on earth. It grows only on the precipitous cliffs of a remote valley in Patagonia. You see what this means?"
 
"You mean …?" said Watson incredulously.
 
"It means …" said Holmes, "that the deadly bullet can only have been fired by …"
 
"Wait!" cried Watson. "I know! By a remote Patagonian mountaineer!"
 
Holmes put his pipe down on the table and looked out of the window for a long moment.
 
"You know, Watson," he said between clenched teeth, "you're no fun any more."
 

 
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